Yes. Very Funny

Well, it's been nearly two months since first creating this blog as somewhere I could theoretically talk about this nonsense. I might as well actually do the damn thing. So. It has been 21°C today. I am writing this at nighttime, which is supposed to be cooler, and it still feels as though I'm going to die of headstroke in my sleep. In around fifteen minutes, I will quit whatever I'm doing and go watch one carefully rationed ASMR video, before (hopefully) immediately going to sleep. Before that, I will lay on my stomach with my arms outstretched, almost in the pose of one of those chalk outlines of cartoon murders, and tuck in my largest blanket around my body so closely that it's tighter than a sleeping bag. It is going to be fucking sweltering. I am going to wake up tomorrow afternoon and shower as soon as I've given the girls their treats, because I will be sweating like Will Graham in NBCs Hannibal.

"Frank, why on earth would you-" First of all, nobody calls me Frank. Secondly, let me elaborate. It is quite literally just fucking stupid. I move a lot in my sleep, which runs the risk of showing a scandalous three centimetres of skin if my shirt rides up or my shorts get stuck around the knee or whatever. This counts as being undressed, apparently. And what if someone comes into your room (this will not happen) and finds you undressed (I am fully clothed) in your bed? Well obviously they're going to assume you were doing something inappropriate. The only solution is this - you have to follow the dumbest chain of illogical thought possible to avoid people thinking of you as a pervert.

And it kills me, it kills me every single time; to sit here knowing this is not how anything would ever happenand to know that if it comes down to it I'm still going to follow through this shit because it doesn't matter if it could happen, it matters that I couldn't in a world where it did happen. Is it possible? Who cares, it'd ruin my life if it ever was possible! I think I honestly might be happier dealing with certain thoughts which are objectively worse than dealing with the sillier ones like this. A genuine concern is one thing. It's maddening to be aware of how little connection there is between my actions and a potential outcome, and still perform those actions regardless, just on the safe side. I live in eternal relief of being able to wear shorts freely whilst awake, if nothing else. This is a poor excuse for a comedy.